Sunday, May 29, 2011

Blush-worthy stuff...

Amongst the few, very few places that the Chennai I know of has to offer the average guy "in transit" in his life, so to speak, EA mall would have to rank pretty high up there. Amidst its mind-boggling cornucopia of stores big and small, the distant-middle-of-nowhere-small-town-guy in me was caught thinking, "Where in the world did this spring up from? What are those tinted windows on the top floor for? Is that a basement or an atrium? Coffee for 65 bucks? Hey where's that rad place called Citi Center? Where's the rest of her dress?" and so on. Efficiently compressed, that would be, "WHAT THE FISH?!!?".

Sociologists will agree when I say it is hard to decide if the clear spurt in consumer spending (earning too, maybe?) is more radical than the sudden influx of, dare I say it, Babes! I'm no sexist (Mostly. Other times, I'm with a friend and we're intolerable. Political correctness and humor just don't go!) but my god what happened to my city? It's got a freaking makeover! Brands walk past me where once malli-poo's did! I see committed people without a mama over their shoulders. It's like coming back home to find a usually conservative wife greet you with Victoria Secret's summer collection!

Which reminds me of a pretty harrowing experience. While Escape is undoubtedly one of the biggest attractions at EA (of course, I'm not speaking about the average generation old rich guy who uses his dad's cash to actually SHOP at one of the ridiculously overpriced stores there) it was quite unnerving to enter 'Blush'. A little known fact is that every theater in this very indulgent multiplex is themed after something. However, Blush does not, as many teenage guys wistfully believe, screen adult movies. I'm sorry if I broke your hearts, but the deception had to stop somewhere.

No, Blush is themed "after women, and the things they cherish". That's all jolly good, but is it just me, or does watching a movie there make you feel like you're sitting inside a powder box? I mean, half the time I kept looking up half expecting the roof to tilt open and a long, snotty, overly made-up nose to peer in and brush me with one of those ridiculously fluffy instruments women use. Let me assure you that is not good cinema! Not to mention scary for the guy sitting next to me!

That said, the movie was certainly entertaining. Penelope Cruz certainly brought a lot more to the party than Kiera Knightley did the last 3 editions, and I, since we have already established am not sexist, refer purely to entertainment value. On an equally serious note, her performance as Jack was extraordinary, as was her patented sexy latin lisp. Finally, some of the love-making scenes were really intense and realistic until a friend pointed out the screen was the other way.