Listless & Ironic

1. Being stranded in the middle of a national highway by a team, who refused to listen to reason when I shout, panic, point at a share auto that is willing to take us to the mall. Them just strutting ahead, and me following senselessly. Running 300m across the highway, while the others walk 'coolly' across, pointing and laughing at the prude.
2. Being told that a share auto would ask 10 bucks to go to the mall 500m away, and thus not taking it makes sense.
3. Being mocked that my kids will have no fun in life, when I remonstrated.
   
4. Not having coffee at the mall because it is too expensive. Beside, we already had 100ml of premixed coffee at office an hour back.
5. Walking around listlessly at the mall. Picking up a basketball at the sports store and relishing the feel of it in my hands after 3.5 months. Tell myself, 10 days.
6. Trying on clothes at Westside. Looking for V-neck full sleeves that made me look like a gay, stocky and very well fed giant. Opting for a half sleeve. Taking pics wearing different clothes in the trial room. Flirting with a purple top a la Thejas, sense wins over adventurism.
   
7. Falling asleep in an auto with 15 other people, out of pure tiredness from waking at 6, coming office first and working (at least one guy has to) and leaving the last.
   
8. Coming back home, to shower, force food down my throat, and get ready for bed.
9. Power cut for an hour when my head touches the pillow. Inverter, which I am paying for, doesn't work for the floor I am put up in.
10. Dragging myself downstairs to sit in the 'common room' and doze off with my neck at an angle akin to modern geometric art.
11. Being told, the next morning, that complaining about this means I'm 'getting on his head' and I am being pampered, when heart patients are in the other room. You see, not only do you pay him double what the usual rate is, you also need to be critically ill to be considered.
    
12. Tolerating a blubbering, worthless, tactless and hypocritical landlord's outburst and subsequent 'make up' talk whose highlight is, "When you were in pain, I sat on the floor and cried". Resisting urge to suggest he is gay.
    
13. Realizing that the landlord has money I should be returned, which means I can't push it all too much.
14. Signing into FB, seeing "Goodbye Germany :(", "Leaving for hostel :(" and the like. Wondering if it would be nice to feel some attachment to the place I'm in.
15. Sigh.
    

Edit: You! And You! Hope you're both happy now!!! :)

Not the best experience, by far....

After giving dear Gurgaon a fair run for 2 whole months, with forced optimism and the like, I've finally realized that however I look at it, this is not going to be one of the greatest experiences of my life.

Originally, I believed that once work took off, everything would fall in place. Then I realized, this particular workplace resembled a train more than a jet plane. You keep chugging along, picking up speed just to slow down for the next stop. There was, and is, no scope for anything taking off.

Then the place itself. Prohibitively expensive to stay in, it gives you the feeling that you're in a Shakespearean play, particularly, Much Ado About Nothing. It is, ladies and gentlemen, a wasteland. Someone, somewhere, thought they could pull off a Dubai. Sorry, not happening. There is no water, no electricity, and no roads. The entire place is just 3 roads. The rest is suburban. Sub-sub-urban. Think Salem, not Tanjore/Trichy. Electricity is leased at 5.75Rs a unit flat, water tax is almost as high and to top it all off, there isn't any electricity for at least 7 hours a day. Not to mention, absolutely no concept of public transport. For what this fuss, then? For development that will come in 15 years, probably when pigs fly and England win a world cup.

The biggest disadvantage, however, is how not happening this place is. Come weekend, what do you do? Sit at home and sweat while you get a weekend bonus of 10 hour power cuts. Or, alternatively, go to one of these amazingly repetitive malls and laze around while utter boredom makes you go buy clothes.

The companies have an untenable cost of operation. The employees have an untenable cost of living. The place is not renowned for it's quality of labour and most of the workplace is invariably imported. The proximity to Delhi seems like a petty excuse to live in Gurgaon. It is like living in a hut, consoling yourself that the mansion is just down the road. It makes more sense to go to a Tier-II city and make use of the land and infrastructure it already has.

Of course, not all of my ire is the fault of the place. The company, or lack of it, is equally irritating. Stuck with guys that are, granted, very nice and all, but whose idea of fun is sitting in their PG and saving up money that they earn during the week. They do not want to travel to Jaipur, nor do they want to sample the famed chat in Delhi. They do not care for sight-seeing nor do they care for coffee. It is always too far, or too hot, or too expensive. The truly tragic part of it is that I, being me, am incapable of doing any of that alone. Without company, it seems, frankly, a waste.

I have exhausted positive intent, at least for the time being. How much can you grin and bear the irritation that is heaped upon you day after day. After a point of time, Facebook gently reminds you that it cannot substitute for hostel, and that you are veritably alone. The world cup, with all its color and fun, comes in 90min spurts (which are unkindly interrupted by the power cuts). National SMS and chatting helps, but even if you are freaking Larry King, you're gonna stop being entertaining after a few weeks non-stop. Books offer solace, sparingly.

I doubt if I'd be proud of this rant tomorrow, even an hour from now. Whining is for sissies, would be one of my mottos, and I would still stick by that. But somewhere, something breaks, even if temporarily. Maybe there are people who are leading lives less rosy than mine, maybe there are others who are staying alone, others who can claim to have gone through this and handled this better. Pass judgement if you will, but I assure you, this summer has been an unmitigated disaster.

Sonnet for Home...

An impromptu sonnet that sprung up at work the other day... I risk becoming a sobbing, very non-macho mess soon...

To wake at ten and breathe the salted breeze,
To yawn and stretch and reach for my phone,
To gaze sleepily upon the waving yellow trees,
To know that you sleep in the comfort of your home,
To laugh with friends and cry with some,
To walk alone sans oppressive hurry...
To sing some lines, and others gently hum,
To eat and drink, mock, make merry,
To sprawl in the sand while dusk yawns idly,
To speak in the tongue that I hold dear,
To see anothers' eyes dart around slyly,
To jump and bound and shout without fear,
Will the weeks soon vanish, or do I hope in vain
To be tomorrow, home again?

A small note about the structuring... the rhyme scheme, originally a 14-line AABB type rhyme, was subsequently modified to the Shakespearean Sonnet 3x(ABAB)CC. Of course, I have no idea what a quatrain is so don't know if this conforms to the purist's expectation, but I do know that since every line in the sonnet body is independent, it was mighty easy to rearrange it!

Following up with a post of why this yearning and remorse...